By Stockton

President Bush exercised his veto-power for the first time by nixing the embryonic research bill, which would have provided funding for stem-cell research.

"The simple answer is he thinks murder's wrong," said White House spokesman Tony Snow. "The president is not going to get on the slippery slope of taking something living and making it dead for the purposes of scientific research."

Mr. Snow then went on to detail over a hundred years of rat/mouse mass murder in scientific death camps.

Stem cell research has proved promising in treating diseases, including Alzheimer's. However, the President has not turned his back on fighting disease. According to a White House Science expert and Professor of Contemporary American Religion at Liberty Unirversity, Hollis Lundgren, the fight against disease will be continued and will be funded.

"Currently, stem cell research has been a dead end," said Lundgren. "The President has promised however that funding for alternative treatment will be provided to research programs such as ours."

Lundgren is currently working on a theory that diseases such as Alzhiemer's are caused by tiny Gnomes or Demons that attach themselves to vital organs.