Monday, May 22, 2006
TWO-FRONT WAR
By Stockton
Pentagon officials have secretly told Smorgasblog that morale in the Armed Forces is at an all-time low. "We're just stretched too thin," said one official. "We have too many troops in the field and they have know idea when they might be home. We can't fight a two-front war indefinitely."
This troublesome assessment comes in the wake of America entering another defensive war: The War against Traditional Marriage. According to Senator Bill Frist (R-TN), the attack has already begun:
However, some military analysts suggest that we don't have the man-power to fight another war.
"We're already bogged down fighting the War against Christmas," said one retired general. "Our troops are tired and our lines are stretched." According to many, soldiers fighting the War against Christmas are not getting enough supplies, including wool socks and egg nog.
The Initial assault on Santa's Workshop - 12/5/05
Most agree that the War against Traditional Marriage will be a different kind of war. "We may have to blockade Reno and Vegas," said one military strategist. "They have to know that we are resolved to end cheap, quickie, divorces, no matter what the toll."
Troops depart to establish beach head in Nevada
Pentagon officials have secretly told Smorgasblog that morale in the Armed Forces is at an all-time low. "We're just stretched too thin," said one official. "We have too many troops in the field and they have know idea when they might be home. We can't fight a two-front war indefinitely."
This troublesome assessment comes in the wake of America entering another defensive war: The War against Traditional Marriage. According to Senator Bill Frist (R-TN), the attack has already begun:
I basically say, Mr. Vice President, right now marriage is under attack in this country," Frist said on CNN.
However, some military analysts suggest that we don't have the man-power to fight another war.
"We're already bogged down fighting the War against Christmas," said one retired general. "Our troops are tired and our lines are stretched." According to many, soldiers fighting the War against Christmas are not getting enough supplies, including wool socks and egg nog.
Most agree that the War against Traditional Marriage will be a different kind of war. "We may have to blockade Reno and Vegas," said one military strategist. "They have to know that we are resolved to end cheap, quickie, divorces, no matter what the toll."
