By Stockton

According to sources, an anonymous Sioux City, Iowa woman has agreed to perform fellatio on President Bush, thereby guaranteeing that the Republican controlled Congress will begin impeachment proceedings.

"Logically, you'd figure it would have happened by now," said the 27 year-old woman. "After Iraq, Katrina, the spying, the lying, Valerie Plame....do I have to go on? It's time this man was impeached."

The anonymous woman, along with friends, began discussing impeachment one year ago. "Then came the spying," says friend, Alan Mathison. "We thought for sure he'd get impeached. But no."

After exhausting all other options, 'Operation Fellatio' was born. "We know this will work," said Ellen Jankowski, another friend. "There's precedent for fellatio-induced impeachment and we know it's something the GOP can rally around."

"I never thought I'd fellate a president," said the anonymous woman. "And normally I wouldn't, but my country needs me. It's time to my mouth where my money is. Or something like that."