Thursday, March 16, 2006
INFLATION, ALL AROUND US
By Tweed
Evidence for Universe Expansion Found
By MATT CRENSON, AP National Writer
Physicists announced Thursday that they now have the smoking gun that shows the universe went through extremely rapid expansion in the moments after the big bang, growing from the size of a marble to a volume larger than all of observable space in less than a trillion-trillionth of a second. The discovery — which involves an analysis of variations in the brightness of microwave radiation — is the first direct evidence to support the two-decade-old theory that the universe went through what is called inflation.
Reaction was mixed around the country.
Members of the Bush cabinet and Republican leaders quickly went on the offensive on hearing the news blaming the universe inflation on the tax and spend policies of liberal Democratic administrations and congresses. "Why is it that the country and the universe have suffered from crippling inflation?" Ohio Congressman Bob "Freedom Fries" Ney rhetorically asked a press gathering. "I'll tell you why - its those greedy liberals who think they know how best to spend your money and how big the government and universe should be!"
Decrying the enlargement of existence as not a part of God's plan, Pat Robertson warned the people of the world that unless we did something about the inflation of the universe, God would exact revenge on the earth, by making our sun explode in about 5 billion years.
Word on the street was more speculative.
"That makes sense," remarked Tony Abruzzio, a cigarette store clerk in Yonkers, NY, "cause in Men in Black, that cat had a universe around it neck on a chain, and that thing couldn't a'bin more than a marble, but I don't remember it inflatin or nothin - weird."
"I wonder if that's the same thing that happened to my wife's ass?" was the reaction of David Gersten, a construction worker in Chicago, IL.
Evidence for Universe Expansion Found
By MATT CRENSON, AP National Writer
Physicists announced Thursday that they now have the smoking gun that shows the universe went through extremely rapid expansion in the moments after the big bang, growing from the size of a marble to a volume larger than all of observable space in less than a trillion-trillionth of a second. The discovery — which involves an analysis of variations in the brightness of microwave radiation — is the first direct evidence to support the two-decade-old theory that the universe went through what is called inflation.
Reaction was mixed around the country.
Members of the Bush cabinet and Republican leaders quickly went on the offensive on hearing the news blaming the universe inflation on the tax and spend policies of liberal Democratic administrations and congresses. "Why is it that the country and the universe have suffered from crippling inflation?" Ohio Congressman Bob "Freedom Fries" Ney rhetorically asked a press gathering. "I'll tell you why - its those greedy liberals who think they know how best to spend your money and how big the government and universe should be!"
Decrying the enlargement of existence as not a part of God's plan, Pat Robertson warned the people of the world that unless we did something about the inflation of the universe, God would exact revenge on the earth, by making our sun explode in about 5 billion years.
Word on the street was more speculative.
"That makes sense," remarked Tony Abruzzio, a cigarette store clerk in Yonkers, NY, "cause in Men in Black, that cat had a universe around it neck on a chain, and that thing couldn't a'bin more than a marble, but I don't remember it inflatin or nothin - weird."
"I wonder if that's the same thing that happened to my wife's ass?" was the reaction of David Gersten, a construction worker in Chicago, IL.
