Monday, March 20, 2006

END OF THE END OF MAJOR OPERATIONS

With the start of "Operation deja vu" the Bush Administration has announced an "End to the end of Major Operations in Iraq."

Operation deja vu began last week. It's principle objective is to rid Northern Iraq of insurgents and to "tidy-up" the area to increase property values.

Despite the operation, the Bush Administration does not believe Iraq has plunged into civil war.

"It's not a civil war, definitely not," said a Bush spokesperson. "It's more like rival factions fighting to determine who will rule the country."

The President also celebrated the 3rd Anniversary of the overthrow of the Iraqi dictatorship with an address. The President did not use the term 'War' and instead referred to the Iraq invasion as "This thing of ours."

The Vice-President also discussed "This thing of ours" on the Sunday talk shows.

On Sunday, Vice President Dick Cheney did not express any regret for predicting in the days before the invasion that U.S. troops would be greeted as liberators or his assessment 10 months ago that the insurgency was in its "last throes." On the contrary, he said the optimistic statements "were basically accurate, reflect reality."

After the interview, the Vice-President was seen chasing a white rabbit. The rabbit held a pocket-watch and was heard to repeatedly say, "I'm late, I'm late..."

In other news, Vice-President Cheney downplayed rumors of a major shake-up in the administration. Washington insiders have even put the Vice-President on the list of administration officials that may be gone by the end of the year.

Sources close to Smorgasblog have learned that Vice-President Cheney may very well be gone next year, but not without a job. According to an anonymous source, Vice-President Cheney may be moving to academia, to become the new head of Slytherin House at Hogwarts.



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The Vice-President is known to be close to Lucias Malfoy, a prominent Hogwart's graduate. Malfoy is lobbying to get the VP the prestigious position. In addition to heading Slytherin House, Cheney will teach, "How to invade a Middle-Eastern country on $12 million a day."



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