Saturday, November 18, 2006

ELECTION ROCKS RELIGIOUS RIGHT

By Stockton

The 2006 mid-term elections have rocked and shocked the nation's fundamentalist movement. Not only did the Democratic Party defeat many of the rights allies in Congress, three statewide initiatives also spelled defeat for the nation's righteous.

In South Dakota, voters defeated an almost total ban on killing babies;

In Missouri, voters voted in favor of stem-cell research;

In Arizona, voters defeated a Marriage Amendment that would ban same-sex marriages.

"Last Tuesday was disastrous," said Ken Waitling, a fundamentalist minister and one of the leaders of the nation's religious conservatives. "It is comparable to 1932, when the National Socialist Party took the Reichstag."

Waitling has warned his parishioners that they will now have to be on guard and protect their families. He suggests building underground shelters not unlike those built in the 1950's during the height of the Cold War.

"We'll need to protect our wives and daughters, now, from the Democrats. Bible burning, flag burning and public, homosexual copulation will now be standard fare. Also, expect to see more assless chaps."

Others, however, seek to learn from the election and modify their positions.

Fundamentalist Minister Howard Malveson has decided to re-evaluate certain positions, including the hard line taken on stem-cell research. "I think it's time we accept that science does have some role in medicine and medical issues. A small one, true. But a role nonetheless."




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